Sunday, February 13, 2011
I'm Thinking About You...
I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about you like cats think about the yarn-ball after it rolls under the couch. I'm thinking about you like pens think about words. Like bees think about birds. I'm thinking about you like wind thinks about chimes. Like rappers think about rhymes. Like clocks think about time. I am thinking about you like Oregon thinks about rain. Like surfers think about waves. I'm thinking about you like sheets think about bed bugs. I'm thinking about you like pepper thinks about salt. Like basketballs think about asphalt. I am thinking about you like tears think about handkerchiefs. I'm thinking about you like deaf people think about music. Like mice think about cheese. Like little kids think about mac and cheese. I'm thinking about you like porches think about welcome mats. Like crayons think about coloring books. I'm thinking about you like couches think about swallowing keys. Like criminals think about plea's. I'm thinking about you like cameras think about memories. Like books think about being read. I'm thinking about you like before thinks about after. I'm thinking about you like brains think about thinking. Like staring contests think about blinking. I am THINKING....THINKing... Thinking...about you. I am thinking about you like I don't ever want to think about anyone else but you.
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first line, right away you had my attention, liked it.
ReplyDeleteI agree. You shose things that wouldn't normanly be compared and I think that's why it was so good, because I was unique
ReplyDeleteI think this is awesome how you rhyme everything so well and you make some words stand out more than others. Great job!
ReplyDeleteYou thought of a lot of things that were understated and poetic; I really really like this post. Favorite: "Like couches think about swallowing keys", not only is it a good simile, but I adore that you chose "swallow" as your verb, it's a great image. Wow.
ReplyDeleteLike before thinks about after. Profound. I love your comparisons, they paint a vivid picture in my mind. That's a sign of a true artist.
ReplyDeleteI agree with R.L.P.S. The first line had the detail that was needed to grab someones attention and make them want to continue reading. The extra information made it much more interesting. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Dr. Frankl there is a vivid picture and the things you say are very profound good job.
ReplyDeletereally good. When I was reading I imagined it. like saw it in my head. Keep writing your really creative.
ReplyDelete"like surfers think about waves"...that was awesome! i loved it!
ReplyDeletei'm thinking about you like deaf people think about music. that's easily the best line. keep writing i thought this was excellent
ReplyDeleteGood rhymes. But my favorite ones were the slant rhymes. Suttle, but it flows. Maybe incoorperate more of that in future material.
ReplyDeleteI really like this one...I'm thinking about you like couches think a swallowing keys. Very creative.
ReplyDeleteYour first sentence about the cat thinking of the yarn-ball made me laugh outright. I think my favorite statement was about before thinking about after. It really makes you consider how people do or don't think about consequences.
ReplyDelete